(Note I, Kendra, did not write this. But I thought it was very funny, and oh so true. If you have ever been pregnant you will understand where this is all coming from. Oh and I havn't had any of this really come up yet, but this is definatly how I feel about it all. )
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass (including, “Did you plan this?”)
2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".
3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.
4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".
6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.
7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
8) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
9) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.
Signed,
All Pregnant Women
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Mental Melt Down
Yeah I know. That's not uncommon while pregnant.
But you see...it is for me. I have a habit of bottling my emotions until I've got so much turmoil and emotion inside that it has only one escape route...my tear ducts. Whether out of anger or sadness the tears come.
Today it was because of how lonely I am. I have Matt and I have Elliott, but I have NO friends. Every day I sit at home, on my butt, doing NOTHING. I know what you are all thinking.
"You live in PORTLAND!! Go out for a walk, go to the mall, go say hi to a random stranger" Oh yeah that sounds like a great idea! I'll go introduce myself to someone who could possibly want to kidnap me!! No...I don't like taking lonely walks, and I certanly don't like introducing myself to a possible KRM. (You wouldn't understand even if I told you.)
Besides family, I have one person right now that I talk to regularly and consider a friend, and the moment (See you March 15th!). All others have decided I'm not worth their time, or they are too busy. I've tried and tried, but it's doesn't seem to be working.
So with all these feelings of lonelyness, sadness that I just might not be good enough to be a friend, and anger that I'm too shy to do anything about it, I cried. All over my pillow and Matt's shoulder. He came home for lunch and the break down started when he had to go back to work. I made him late. He didn't care. If I'm going to cry, I'd rather do it in private. No one needs to see my red puffy leaking eyes, or my red puffy leaking nose. (I personally like to cry in the shower, easier clean up) But I was betrayed by my own hormones and ended up bawling right there in front of Matt.
Well, you don't read this to hear me go on and on with the "poor me" crap. So here have a baby update:
26 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 12 pounds
Maternity clothes? Had to go through my shirts the other day and put most of them away...to tight and like to
show off my belly.
Stretch marks? just my sides and my poor bum, and they've began to creep down my thighs...sigh I look like a road map =(
Sleep: I think I get some between bathroom breaks, but can't be to sure.
Best moment this week: Felt Elliott roll against my hand, totally weird sensation.
Movement: She's getting pretty darn good at it, like to roll now, and punch my bladder.
Food cravings: wouldn't mind an apple. but don't really feel all that hungry all together. (don't worry I still eat)
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: Nope, thank goodness!
Belly Button in or out? getting more flat with each passing day.
What I miss: Seafood, and sleeping on my belly, or just sleeping at all...yeah I definatly miss that
What I am looking forward to: June, I want to see her already.
Weekly Wisdom: i'm too tired to share wisdom.
Milestones: 3rd trimester. 2 more weeks!
But you see...it is for me. I have a habit of bottling my emotions until I've got so much turmoil and emotion inside that it has only one escape route...my tear ducts. Whether out of anger or sadness the tears come.
Today it was because of how lonely I am. I have Matt and I have Elliott, but I have NO friends. Every day I sit at home, on my butt, doing NOTHING. I know what you are all thinking.
"You live in PORTLAND!! Go out for a walk, go to the mall, go say hi to a random stranger" Oh yeah that sounds like a great idea! I'll go introduce myself to someone who could possibly want to kidnap me!! No...I don't like taking lonely walks, and I certanly don't like introducing myself to a possible KRM. (You wouldn't understand even if I told you.)
Besides family, I have one person right now that I talk to regularly and consider a friend, and the moment (See you March 15th!). All others have decided I'm not worth their time, or they are too busy. I've tried and tried, but it's doesn't seem to be working.
So with all these feelings of lonelyness, sadness that I just might not be good enough to be a friend, and anger that I'm too shy to do anything about it, I cried. All over my pillow and Matt's shoulder. He came home for lunch and the break down started when he had to go back to work. I made him late. He didn't care. If I'm going to cry, I'd rather do it in private. No one needs to see my red puffy leaking eyes, or my red puffy leaking nose. (I personally like to cry in the shower, easier clean up) But I was betrayed by my own hormones and ended up bawling right there in front of Matt.
Well, you don't read this to hear me go on and on with the "poor me" crap. So here have a baby update:
26 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 12 pounds
Maternity clothes? Had to go through my shirts the other day and put most of them away...to tight and like to
show off my belly.
Stretch marks? just my sides and my poor bum, and they've began to creep down my thighs...sigh I look like a road map =(
Sleep: I think I get some between bathroom breaks, but can't be to sure.
Best moment this week: Felt Elliott roll against my hand, totally weird sensation.
Movement: She's getting pretty darn good at it, like to roll now, and punch my bladder.
Food cravings: wouldn't mind an apple. but don't really feel all that hungry all together. (don't worry I still eat)
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: Nope, thank goodness!
Belly Button in or out? getting more flat with each passing day.
What I miss: Seafood, and sleeping on my belly, or just sleeping at all...yeah I definatly miss that
What I am looking forward to: June, I want to see her already.
Weekly Wisdom: i'm too tired to share wisdom.
Milestones: 3rd trimester. 2 more weeks!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Pregnancy update!
How far along? 23 weeks 5 day
Total weight gain/loss: At my doctors appointment 4 weeks ago I had only gained 9 pounds. I'll update tomorrow after my appointment.
Maternity clothes? Oh yes, can't even think about my pre-prego pants! I can still wear all of my shirts though.
Stretch marks? ..grr...yes! Not on my belly, just my sides and my poor bum. =(
Sleep: Eh, not the best but I get a little.
Best moment this week: Watching my belly move with Elliott's kicks. =)
Movement: All the time! She's going to be a soccer player
Food cravings: Biscuits and (sausage) Gravey, still. and Apples!! mmm.
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: Nope, thank goodness!
Belly Button in or out? getting more flat with each passing day.
What I miss: Seafood, and sleeping on my belly
What I am looking forward to: Getting big enough that you can tell I'm pregnant even when wearing a sweatshirt!
Weekly Wisdom: Take a walk daily. It will help you sleep better.
Milestones: 3rd trimester. Only 4 more weeks and I am there!
Total weight gain/loss: At my doctors appointment 4 weeks ago I had only gained 9 pounds. I'll update tomorrow after my appointment.
Maternity clothes? Oh yes, can't even think about my pre-prego pants! I can still wear all of my shirts though.
Stretch marks? ..grr...yes! Not on my belly, just my sides and my poor bum. =(
Sleep: Eh, not the best but I get a little.
Best moment this week: Watching my belly move with Elliott's kicks. =)
Movement: All the time! She's going to be a soccer player
Food cravings: Biscuits and (sausage) Gravey, still. and Apples!! mmm.
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: Nope, thank goodness!
Belly Button in or out? getting more flat with each passing day.
What I miss: Seafood, and sleeping on my belly
What I am looking forward to: Getting big enough that you can tell I'm pregnant even when wearing a sweatshirt!
Weekly Wisdom: Take a walk daily. It will help you sleep better.
Milestones: 3rd trimester. Only 4 more weeks and I am there!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I dream of babies...
I've always had weird dreams. I don't have to be pregnant to dream of babies either. Even before I met Matt I would dream of a baby girl. But those baby dreams were sweet, and cute, and normal. So far during pregnancy I've only had 3 baby dreams, all about the sweet little girl I'm carrying right. The first two were pretty much the same.
The dream starts 3 or so days after I have Elliott and I don't remember labor and delivery at all! And the dream basically all about breast feeding, and whether I can do it (almost too well) or can't do it at all.
But the dream I had last night was completely different. It was not normal at all. I was with my parents and sisters in our childhood home. I was only 23 weeks pregnant (same as in reality) and little Elliott is moving around like crazy! All of a sudden, Ellie's face is pushing against my belly, I could see every detail perfectly, and then her head breaks free of my belly, she smiles at me, and then goes back into my belly. Belly is as smooth as ever, no scratch or tear. I of course freak out! What just happened?! Is that supposed to happen!? My mother informs me that is totally normal, just don't whipe any of the gooey stuff off because she could get sick if you do.
Ok,don't whipe off the gooey stuff. Right. So it happens again, Elliott's head is just sticking out of my stomache, but instead of going right back in she just sits there, and I'm afraid that she'll get sick if her head is out too long, so I gently push her back in (she's got a head full of dark curly hair!) making sure not to whipe off any gooey stuff.
The next time her head pops out, her body follows, so now I've got this baby (who looks to be about 2 months old) Sitting in my lap!! I get her dressed and decide to take her to the hospital because this can't be right, but that will have to wait until the next day because it's only 2 in the morning.
I wake up just as my little sister drops her, before she hits the floor. It took quite a few minutes to calm myself down and realize it was just a dream, and that Elliott would not really be able to stick her head out of my belly. But all through the dream it was like I could actually feel her moving...which makes me think that she actually was in reality. Using my inards as a jungle gym.
The dream starts 3 or so days after I have Elliott and I don't remember labor and delivery at all! And the dream basically all about breast feeding, and whether I can do it (almost too well) or can't do it at all.
But the dream I had last night was completely different. It was not normal at all. I was with my parents and sisters in our childhood home. I was only 23 weeks pregnant (same as in reality) and little Elliott is moving around like crazy! All of a sudden, Ellie's face is pushing against my belly, I could see every detail perfectly, and then her head breaks free of my belly, she smiles at me, and then goes back into my belly. Belly is as smooth as ever, no scratch or tear. I of course freak out! What just happened?! Is that supposed to happen!? My mother informs me that is totally normal, just don't whipe any of the gooey stuff off because she could get sick if you do.
Ok,don't whipe off the gooey stuff. Right. So it happens again, Elliott's head is just sticking out of my stomache, but instead of going right back in she just sits there, and I'm afraid that she'll get sick if her head is out too long, so I gently push her back in (she's got a head full of dark curly hair!) making sure not to whipe off any gooey stuff.
The next time her head pops out, her body follows, so now I've got this baby (who looks to be about 2 months old) Sitting in my lap!! I get her dressed and decide to take her to the hospital because this can't be right, but that will have to wait until the next day because it's only 2 in the morning.
I wake up just as my little sister drops her, before she hits the floor. It took quite a few minutes to calm myself down and realize it was just a dream, and that Elliott would not really be able to stick her head out of my belly. But all through the dream it was like I could actually feel her moving...which makes me think that she actually was in reality. Using my inards as a jungle gym.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Elliott Morgan Tabbert
Don't you just love that name!? Matt and I do. We got Elliott from the tv show Scrubs, (Dr. Elliott Reed) yep love it! As for the middle name...we found that in a baby name book.
So I am not very good at keeping up on this blog, am I? Want to see my lastest belly bump picture? Of course you do!!
So I am not very good at keeping up on this blog, am I? Want to see my lastest belly bump picture? Of course you do!!
Ellie knows we are talking about her. As I'm sitting here writing this she is kicking like crazy! Matt gets to feel her move all the time. The other day she kicked so hard it moved his hand! It was pretty impressive, and felt really strange to me.
I have had, so far, a pretty mellow pregnancy. No complications (knock on wood that I end this pregnancy being able to say that!!) I'm getting to the point where it takes my breath away to bend over. (but I can still do it!!) I can't fit into ANY of my pre-prego pants, but I've only gained 10lbs so far! yay!
Can't wait until she's here!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Little Kicks and Blankets
I've been feeling little movements for a while now. Recently those little flutters have graduated to little kicks. It's quite amazing if I do say so my self. Only this morning hubby got to join in the fun. His hand resting on my belly is becoming a normal habit, well baby decided to kick him. Twice! It was pretty awesome. I wasn't sure he had felt it but when I said "She's trying." he smiled and said "I felt that."
Yep we know it's a girl, we even have her name. I'd like to share it with everyone I meet. Matt disagrees. He thinks we should wait. Which makes sense, but it doesn't change how I feel. I love her. I love her name.
Oh! I am making a quilt for her. =) I made it on paint to see how I wanted it.
Yep we know it's a girl, we even have her name. I'd like to share it with everyone I meet. Matt disagrees. He thinks we should wait. Which makes sense, but it doesn't change how I feel. I love her. I love her name.
Oh! I am making a quilt for her. =) I made it on paint to see how I wanted it.
We are going to buy the fabric tonight. It will be 48in x 60in. (When finished) I have to cut out 720, 2.5 x2.5 inch squares. That way when finished, squares will be 2 inches. I'm so excited! I get to do somthing with my boreing days, and I get to do it for my daughter! I love saying that. It will never get old. I can't wait until she gets here. =)
Monday, December 7, 2009
2nd trimester.
I've made it. I'm here. And already I can see the difference. My average mid-night potty break is down to one! (For now.) I'm just as tired as always, going to bed at 8:30 seems too late.
I found a stretch mark. Just one, but I have lotion that is so high in vitamin E that you can hardly see the mark that threatens to destroy my chances of ever wearing a bakini again. =)
Cravings? No. Actually it's the opposite. I have no desire to eat anything. I hate being asked "What do you want for dinner?" I DON'T KNOW!! Really I don't. I like eating well enough, but I don't feel the pull of any sort of food. Nothing sounds good.
I let my husband kiss me now. I even enjoy the thought of...well I'm over the aversion of kissing my husband.
Did I mention I felt the baby? =) yep, and I'm not only bloated anymore. This bump just doesn't go away.
The doctor wants to do my next ultra sound at 18 weeks. So the first week of January. (FYI: That's the utlra sound they find out the gender. Think pink!!)
Matt and I leave the 24th for Christmas with his family. We are really excited. I just hope that my baby bump is really noticable by then. It should be, I'm already planning on buying maternity pants before we leave. I can't button any of my pants I already have.
Ok, so there is my update. A lot of small facts. No big stories yet. The further a long we get the more there will be to tell. =)
I found a stretch mark. Just one, but I have lotion that is so high in vitamin E that you can hardly see the mark that threatens to destroy my chances of ever wearing a bakini again. =)
Cravings? No. Actually it's the opposite. I have no desire to eat anything. I hate being asked "What do you want for dinner?" I DON'T KNOW!! Really I don't. I like eating well enough, but I don't feel the pull of any sort of food. Nothing sounds good.
I let my husband kiss me now. I even enjoy the thought of...well I'm over the aversion of kissing my husband.
Did I mention I felt the baby? =) yep, and I'm not only bloated anymore. This bump just doesn't go away.
The doctor wants to do my next ultra sound at 18 weeks. So the first week of January. (FYI: That's the utlra sound they find out the gender. Think pink!!)
Matt and I leave the 24th for Christmas with his family. We are really excited. I just hope that my baby bump is really noticable by then. It should be, I'm already planning on buying maternity pants before we leave. I can't button any of my pants I already have.
Ok, so there is my update. A lot of small facts. No big stories yet. The further a long we get the more there will be to tell. =)
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