Update

So as you all may have read, I was on the search for a midwife that would allow me to have an all natural homebirth. After much talk and a few cancelled consultations, Matt and I have decided that we can not do a homebirth right now. With our living situation, (if you've seen how small my apartment is you would understand that it's not fit for a homebirth.) and money situation (we would have to pay out of pocket up to 4500 dollars before Elliott is even born, which would take away from things that we need to buy for her.) we just can't do a home birth.

But that is NOT going to stop me from going natural or doing a water birth. The hospital I will be delivering at has birthing tubs in each room, and I will be writing up a detailed birth plan. (yes I know it's diffuclt to plan a birth because you don't know what will happen) But the nurses and doctors attending the birth of my daughter will all know not to even offer pain meds.

Matt and I will be researching different relaxing techniques that he can help me with. We will be prepared as we possibly can by the time Elliott makes her appearence.

Oh and we came to this conclusion on a non-cranky day with a clear head. Hormones had no role in making this decision. I'm relieved. It was getting quite stressfull thinking of money, trying to find a midwife that didn't have a full patient load, and all of that. I don't think I'm making the wrong choice. If we decide to have another child than we'll know from the beginning what we want and what to expect and we can plan for a homebirth then. Now I can concentrate on things like what she's going to wear home, and which car seat to buy. Rather than how we are going to pay the midwives, were the tub is going to go and what if the tub breaks and gallons and gallons of water spread throughout our tiny little home(and since we dont have renters insurance...that could be a BIG problem.)

Meanwhile.

BELLY!!

28 weeks. I am officianlly in my third trimester. This is the homestretch! WooHoo!!

All Natural

When I first found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to have a non-medicated labor and delivery (No epidural for me.) Not long after that I heard the benefits of birthing in a tub of nice warm water, and I knew that's how I was going to bring my little girl into the world. I was excited to hear that the hospital has birthing tubs, and allows not only labor but delivery in them as well. (Yay!)

But I want more! I've come to the conclusion that I want to do this ALL natural. I don't want to go to a hospital where the temptation for drugs is just too high. I don't want to be asked ever contraction if I want that epi now. I want to be comfortable.I want to wear what I want (if anything) and I don't want to be parted from my daughter at anytime after delivery.

I am currently looking for a midwife that will assist in a home/water birth. I want to have my baby girl in the comfort of my own home. The fact that we live in an apartment should be no problem. Unfortunatly I have to wait until Monday to see if I can actually have this kind of birth.

Oh for any who think I'm crazy, I'm not. There is no harm in having a home birth. Midwifes are certified and know what they are doing. If something goes wrong they will know and will make sure that we are sent to the hospital, which is only 10 minutes away (at most...there's one or two that are even closer) I'm really excited about this and I hope everyone will trust my decision and support me. =)

Dear Non-Pregnant Person...yeah, you!

(Note I, Kendra, did not write this. But I thought it was very funny, and oh so true. If you have ever been pregnant you will understand where this is all coming from. Oh and I havn't had any of this really come up yet, but this is definatly how I feel about it all. )

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,


I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.


1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass (including, “Did you plan this?”)


2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.

4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.


5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".


6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.


7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.


8) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.


9) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.


I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.


Signed,


All Pregnant Women

Mental Melt Down

Yeah I know. That's not uncommon while pregnant.


But you see...it is for me. I have a habit of bottling my emotions until I've got so much turmoil and emotion inside that it has only one escape route...my tear ducts. Whether out of anger or sadness the tears come.

Today it was because of how lonely I am. I have Matt and I have Elliott, but I have NO friends. Every day I sit at home, on my butt, doing NOTHING. I know what you are all thinking.

"You live in PORTLAND!! Go out for a walk, go to the mall, go say hi to a random stranger" Oh yeah that sounds like a great idea! I'll go introduce myself to someone who could possibly want to kidnap me!! No...I don't like taking lonely walks, and I certanly don't like introducing myself to a possible KRM. (You wouldn't understand even if I told you.)

Besides family, I have one person right now that I talk to regularly and consider a friend, and the moment (See you March 15th!). All others have decided I'm not worth their time, or they are too busy. I've tried and tried, but it's doesn't seem to be working.

So with all these feelings of lonelyness, sadness that I just might not be good enough to be a friend, and anger that I'm too shy to do anything about it, I cried. All over my pillow and Matt's shoulder. He came home for lunch and the break down started when he had to go back to work. I made him late. He didn't care. If I'm going to cry, I'd rather do it in private. No one needs to see my red puffy leaking eyes, or my red puffy leaking nose. (I personally like to cry in the shower, easier clean up) But I was betrayed by my own hormones and ended up bawling right there in front of Matt.


Well, you don't read this to hear me go on and on with the "poor me" crap. So here have a baby update:

26 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 12 pounds

Maternity clothes? Had to go through my shirts the other day and put most of them away...to tight and like to
show off my belly.

Stretch marks? just my sides and my poor bum, and they've began to creep down my thighs...sigh I look like a road map =(

Sleep: I think I get some between bathroom breaks, but can't be to sure.

Best moment this week: Felt Elliott roll against my hand, totally weird sensation.

Movement: She's getting pretty darn good at it, like to roll now, and punch my bladder.

Food cravings: wouldn't mind an apple. but don't really feel all that hungry all together. (don't worry I still eat)

Gender: Girl!

Labor Signs: Nope, thank goodness!

Belly Button in or out? getting more flat with each passing day.

What I miss: Seafood, and sleeping on my belly, or just sleeping at all...yeah I definatly miss that

What I am looking forward to: June, I want to see her already.

Weekly Wisdom: i'm too tired to share wisdom.

Milestones: 3rd trimester. 2 more weeks!